All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

Cathy Ladman

I found this a good way to kick off lent.

You shouldn’t be a lifeguard. You should be a rockstar. You look like Madonna or Lady Gaga.

Sweet old man at work said this to me.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a [girlfriend].

Chapter One